


Just Add Alcohol

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-02
Updated: 2009-12-09
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:29:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3496763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://capslokdethklok.livejournal.com/766562.html">Illustrated version here</a>, some of the art is NSFW so I just linked it instead.</p><p>Skwisgaar has a dilemma, and a mystery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No, you won't get answers in this part, sorry. Have fun coming up with theories.

Skwisgaar woke up slowly.  
It was one of those mornings where he felt like he should try to hold off full consciousness for as long as possible, because there was very likely something he really don't want to remember.  
They'd all gone out drinking the night before, for some reason he'd felt like drinking more than usual. Quite a bit more then usual, now that he thought about it. But what was causing that nagging feeling?  
He stretched, noting that he was completely naked and-  
_Oh fuck_.  
With the horrors the sadistic doctor had subjected them to still fresh in his mind, there was no mistaking what he was feeling. _Something_ had been in his ass. 

It was highly unlikely he'd visited the doctor last night, so it was far more likely a _someone_. And judging by the evidence in his bed... he'd enjoyed it.  
No!  
He wasn't a lady, he didn't do that. He _wouldn't_ do that.  
But there seemed to be no other explanation.  
Sitting up and looking around the room, he searched for evidence of his recent bed mate. Discarded panties, a shirt, _anything_?  
There was nothing at all, only the faint scent of sex that seemed to linger in his room at all times. 

Grasping for possible explanations, he tried hard to remember.  
Maybe he'd picked up one of those chicks that also has a dick? Although not a common occurrence, it had happened before. With his wide taste in women, the occasional impostor was bound to occasionally slip though.  
But he'd always sent them away as soon as he discovered his mistake, he would _never_ even consider letting someone do that to him.  
But apparently he had.  
Who was it? Oh shit, what if they'd had a camera or phone or something, what if they told the press?  
Or had he actually brought some _guy_ home from the bar?  
No one would have stopped him. 

Crawling unsteadily out of bed, he headed for the shower. Sex that made him feel _dirty_ was a new experience, he found didn't care for that feeling at all.  
Skwisgaar noted that he was walking a little funny, he would have to be careful to hide that from the others. No way in hell did he did want them to find out about this.  
Then, in the shower, another thought hit- What if it was one of _them_? What if he'd actually been so drunk he'd let one ( _hopefully_ only one) of his band mates fuck him?  
He didn't want to leave his room and have to face them all, just in case this might be true.  
He just wanted to crawl back into his bed and stay there, but he wouldn't do that, not until his sheets were changed.  
There had been a _man_ in his bed, a man in _him_.  
No amount of denial would erase that. 

Finally surrendering to the inevitable, Skwisgaar got dressed and went to get some food.  
The rest of the band were all there, already eating. Walking as normally as he could manage (he thought he did well), he took his seat and gave his order to a waiting Klokateer.  
After a moment of gathering his nerve, he dared a glance at the others.  
Murderface was giving him a funny look, that worried him quite a lot. No, not Murderface, _please_ not Murderface...  
He didn't want it to be _any_ of them, but especially not Murderface.  
Or maybe that actually be better, one of them instead of some random stranger out there with his secret?  
His food arrived quickly, and ignoring them all, he ate.  
No one said a word to him, but they were often quiet in the mornings. 

Retreating to his room (which he knew would have been quickly cleaned), Skwisgaar lay on his bed and tried to think about this logically. This would do him no good at all if it had been some random groupie, but if it was one of _them_...  
Not Pickles. He could be fairly certain the little drummer was physically too small and far too laid back to have tried that. And he thought he could probably rule out Nathan as well. Nathan with a _guy_? That seemed highly unlikely.  
Murderface... That was so horrible that he couldn't even properly consider it, but somehow he had to. But the sadistic bastard would probably have marked him in some way, right? He'd checked himself over pretty well, there were none. So (hopefully) he could rule Murderface out as well. Or was this just wishful thinking? 

Moving on, this left only Toki. (Or a stranger, but he hadn't gotten to considering that part yet.)  
As much as he hated the idea that he might have let Toki do that to him, this was surprisingly the least scary option. It made sense in a way, Toki looked up to him and wouldn't have hurt him.  
Just how drunk had everyone else been? Maybe _nobody_ remembered what had happened, and he could just try to forget it? Besides, they always pretended that nothing counted if you were drunk or high at the time.  
Unless it had been a groupie, or just some random guy. The rules might not apply then.  
Sitting up and grabbing his guitar, he dealt in the only way he knew how, losing himself in his music. 

Some time later (he'd lost all track), he was interrupted by a tentative knock at his door. Pausing in his playing, he waiting.  
Toki stuck his head in. You's okay, Skwisgaar? You's acting weirds.  
Oh great. Toki routinely failed at not caring, and as much as he'd rather just avoid him entirely, maybe it was better to get this over with. He sighed, and set his guitar down. Comes in Toki, I wants to be asking you abouts somtings.  
His face an odd mix of concern and happy, Toki came in and sat down beside him, waiting.  
Skwisgaar was thinking as fast as he could, trying to come up with some way to approach this. He couldn't come out and just say it, so what else was there?  
Actions, that could work. If it had been Toki, then he should be okay with doing it again, right? Not that he had any intention of letting things get _that_ far. 

Wishing he wasn't sober (too late now), Skwisgaar shoved Toki down and threw a leg over him. If they'd done this just last night...  
It wasn't looking all that promising. Toki wasn't fighting him at all (yet), just staring up at him in confusion. Unwilling to give up until he was absolutely _sure_ , he tried a different approach. You has fun last night, Little Toki?  
Ja, I guess so. Why's you sitting on me?  
Because I feels like it. Tells me what you does last nights.  
You _knows_ , you was there too.  
Oh shit, it _was_ Toki after all. Unless- Maybe he was talking about something else? He had to know for sure. So tells me anyways.

Toki, still confused at to why Skwisgaar was sitting on him, sighed and tried to think. He'd been pretty drunk himself, which didn't help. We all goes to the bar. Drinks a whole lots. I don't knows everything, I started playings darts with Pickle. Don'ts know how long we plays, but you all leaves us there, just forgets us at the bar. We has to call for somebody to come gets us.  
So it _hadn't_ Toki. Skwisgaar moved off him, laying down and covering his face with his hands.  
Toki was concerned, this just really wasn't normal behavior. Skwisgaar? What's the matter? Talks to me.  
He _wanted_ to talk to somebody, but he never wanted to tell anyone. Was he actually considering telling Toki? He peeked between his fingers.  
Toki was just sitting there, looking at him without malice.  
With caring? 

Toki? Something happens to me last nights. I can';t remembers any of it.  
Reaching out, Toki pulled his hands away from his face. Talks to me.  
Skwisgaar looked away, unable to meet his eyes. Somebodies was in mine bed.  
But Skwisgaar, you has people in yous bed alls the time! I's in your bed right now, what's the dig deals?  
Deciding to just say it, he jumped to the point. Somebody _fucks_ me last nights, and I has no idea who. I ams sore.  
Oh! That explained the odd behavior. It's nots that big a deals, I donts think.  
Which meant Toki'd probably never done it. Skwisgaar didn't bother to respond. 

Maybe Skwisgaar wanted help? You wants me to help you finds out who?  
No Toki, I ams actuallies never wantings to talk about it agains.  
Toki lay beside him and slid an arm under him, pulling him closer.  
What ams you doing?  
Holdings you, tryings to make you feel betters. Relax, you probably likes it.  
This didn't seem so bad so he gave it a try, turning a little and resting his head against Toki's chest. He didn't make a very good pillow, but it was somehow comforting anyway. Toki? Why's you cares?  
Don'ts know, I just can't helps it most of the times.  
They stayed that way for a while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m switching gears on you, that’s why this is in parts, not chapters.  
> A few days pass. Nathan gets playful, and a wrestling match turns into a whole different kind of game.
> 
> (well so I said then, so much for that)

Nathan was in one of his rare active moods.  
He’d been a lot more active when he was younger, but these days it usually only came out when he was preforming.  
Tonight though, he was full of energy and annoying them all. Drinking usually settled him down, and he _was_ drinking, but it just wasn’t having it’s usual effect.  
He picked up Pickles (because he was the smallest) and lifted him over his head. Pickles looked worried, but held still so Nathan wouldn’t accidently drop him.  
Not really knowing why he’d done that, Nathan set him gently back on his feet. Sometimes it really sucked to be bigger and stronger than everyone else.

With a sigh, he looked around. Toki was playing DDR, Skwisgaar was sitting off by himself, and now Pickles looked nervous.  
That left Murderface. “Hey Murderface! Arm wrestle me!”  
“Why? You’re jusht gonna win.”  
“BECAUSE I WANT TO!”  
“Jeezsh, fine then!” Murderface stomped over to the table and assumed the position. He knew he didn’t stand much chance, but he would try.  
Resistance was of course, futile. Murderface turned out to be stronger than he looked, but Nathan still pressed his arm to the table after only a brief struggle.

Still bored, Nathan needed another opponent. “Toki! Get over here and arm wrestle me!”  
Focused on his game, Toki didn’t even turn. “Noes! I’s close to beatings my high score!”  
Hmm... the others were no contest, but possible entertainment. “Skwisgaar! Pickles! Get over here and arm wrestle each other!”  
Realizing they were far better off against each other than against Nathan, they complied.  
It was a good match, but Skwisgaar’s long arms gave him the advantage. Pickles was tough, but Skwisgaar wore him down and won.  
Game over, he retreated back to where he’d been sitting, away from everyone.

At Nathan’s insistence, Pickles sat across from him. This match up was a joke and they both knew it.  
Pickles didn’t even bother trying, he just let Nathan win. Why strain himself?  
They were distracted but a triumphant yell as Toki finally stepped away from his game. He was dripping sweat but looked very satisfied with himself. Pulling off his soaked shirt and tossing it aside, he grabbed Pickles’s full drink off the table and downed it. Handing back the glass, he requested “More lemonades?”  
Pickles was alarmed. “Fuck Toki! Thet’s naught lemonade, thet’s straight lemon vodka!”  
Toki just shrugged, the effects already hitting him. He wandered over to the couch and sprawled out, resting.  
Nathan requested that he get his drunk ass up and arm wrestle, but Toki just ignored him.

It was late, they were all pretty drunk, and nobody wanted to play with Nathan anymore. It’s not like any of them (except _maybe_ Toki) were any real competition for him anyway, but that wasn’t the point.  
He was bored, that was the point.  
Having nothing better to do, Nathan managed to distract himself with a magazine somebody had left laying out. When he looked up a bit later, Skwisgaar and Toki had both already disappeared. Pickles looked moments away from passing out on the couch, and Murderface announced that he was going to bed.  
Well crap, this was no fun.  
There was no point in sitting out here all alone (Pickles no longer counted), so he grabbed a bottle and headed to his room.

Bored and alone, Nathan sat on his bed with his new and still mostly full bottle beside him. Damnit, he was still restless. When he saw Toki walking past his open door, and called to him. “Hey Toki, get in here! You still owe me arm wrestling!”  
Toki wandered in agreeably, still shirtless. “Hows? You gots no table in here.”  
Okay, that was a problem... “Uh, fuck it, we’ll just do it on the bed.” He turned and lay in his stomach, leaving plenty of room for Toki to lay across from him.  
With a shrug, Toki flopped down facing him. “Okays.”  
He looked pretty drunk. Hell, they both were.  
Assuming the position, they clasped hands.

Toki was stronger than the others, actually making Nathan work for it this time.  
Then Nathan cheated, throwing his weight into it and doing the human equivalent of a crocodile’s death roll.  
As soon as Toki was rolled onto his back, he pulled, using Nathan’s arm for leverage and somehow managing to roll himself over his own head.  
Landing astride Nathan, he smacked the mattress three times in a wrestling imitation. “I pins you, I wins!”  
Nathan laughed and tried to throw him off, but Toki fought to hold his position. Even drunk, his reflexes still seemed to be pretty good, and he managed to stay on top.  
They wrestled like that for a bit.

Then Nathan grabbed his arms in an attempt to hold him still, but Toki kept struggling. “Toki, stop!”  
Confused by that tone of voice, he obeyed. “What’s wrongs?”  
“You’ve uh, been squirming around on my dick. You’re making me like, really horny, and I don’t think you want to do that.”  
Toki had been too distracted to notice before, but Nathan wasn’t lying. There was really no mistaking exactly what he was (still) sitting on. He’d caused that? Curious, he shifted a little, causing Nathan to groan. “You... wants _me_? But you’s not into guys!”  
“I am sometimes.”

That was a surprise. “You fucks guys?! Who?!”  
“Not that often, but yeah. And I’m not giving you names, I don’t fuck and tell!” Toki still hadn’t moved, maybe he was curious? “So have you ever tried it?”  
“Nots-“ This was surprisingly hard to admit. “Nots with a persons.”  
“Your ‘codpiece’, huh? Yeah, I always figured you’d get curious enough eventually. Do you like it?”  
Embarrassed to admit it, he nodded.  
Nathan considered that, and decided to go for it. “Well, do you maybe want to try it with the real thing?”  
Toki looked at him in surprise. Nathan actually wanted to fuck him? But he _was_ curious, that was the problem. _If_ it was a problem, he really wasn’t sure. What he _did_ know for sure was that he wasn’t drunk enough for this. Grabbing the bottle, he drank some more.

Nathan ran his hands up Toki’s sides, causing him to choke on that last sip. He liked his bed mates on the thin side, and couldn’t deny that Toki had one hot body.  
Nathan wouldn’t tell. With the extra alcohol easing his mind, this was getting more tempting by the minute. He took another drink and set the bottle aside. “You really wants me?”  
“Yeah.” Nathan’s hands continued to roam.  
Those fingers were causing sensations that were half desire and half alarm.  
Eyes closed, head back, Toki tried waited to see which feeling would win. Curiosity was a strong motivator, he _did_ want to try it, scary as the idea was. “Okays...”  
What was he getting himself into?

“So how do you usually do it? You know, when you do? I want you to be comfortable.”  
“Usually I just lays on my bed.”  
Nathan nodded, encouraging him to lay down. “I better, you know, prep you some. Unless you’d rather do it yourself?”  
Toki blushed. Do _that_ , in front of Nathan?  
“A little embarrassed? That’s okay, I’ll do it. Relax.”  
Toki did his best to comply, while Nathan grabbed some lube and went to work. It felt a lot whole different when somebody else did it. A little scary, but also pretty good.  
That was probably good enough. Nathan seemed to think the same thing, because he withdrew his fingers and moved up.  
Toki’s feelings of alarm returned full force.

Nathan noticed his expression. “Toki, we can stop. We don’t have to do this, it’s okay.”  
“Noes.” If he backed out now, he’d never work up the nerve again. “ I wants to tries it.” Damn nervousness... “Fucks, gives me the bottle.”  
After taking another drink himself, Nathan handed it over. Toki drank and handed it back, giving him a determined nod. “Does it.”  
Using lots of lube and working carefully, Nathan eased his way in.  
Toki was laying very still, eyes squeezed shut, clearly trying to force himself to stay relaxed.  
“I’m not hurting you, am I?”  
“Littles bit. It’s okays, keeps going.”  
Finally Nathan was all the way in. He held still, holding his weight up and giving Toki some time to get used to him.

“Hey. You okay?”  
Toki finally opened his eyes. “Ja. Feels differents.” He squirmed a little, experimentally.  
Taking that as a sign that it was maybe okay to move, Nathan pulled back a little, then thrust gently back in. _God_ , that felt good.  
Toki responded by reaching up and clutching his shoulders.  
Encouraged, Nathan began moving, but he could tell he wasn’t hitting quite the right spot. “Toki, help me out here. You know what you like, show me where you need me.”  
Strong hands slid down his sides, grasping his hips and adjusting his position. Clutching almost painfully when he got it right.  
He let Toki guide him, settling into the rhythm he chose.

Nathan wanted to help him out, but it would be hard to do in their current position, he was kind of using both his arms already.  
He didn’t need to worry though, Toki moved to do it himself. Clearly wasn’t shy about that, or maybe he was just simply past caring.  
His other hand remained on Nathan’s hip, still guiding the pace and the angle. He was very into it now, pressing up to meet his thrusts. And close, although he could try to hold back.  
Speech was an effort. “Nathan... tells me when?”  
“Go for it.” Nathan dropped his head, pressing his face against Toki’s neck, savoring his scent.  
Balancing on the edge, Toki lost a little of his rhythm, but Nathan kept as steady as he could under the circumstances. He was very close himself, he hadn’t expected Toki to be so fucking _hot_.

One hand grasping Nathan hard enough to hurt, Toki stopped resisting and let it come.  
Body tense and clenched painfully tight, eyes squeezed shut, he was nearly silent as his orgasm crashed over him.  
That did it for Nathan, he couldn’t possibly hold off anymore. Baring his teeth, he finished as well, then threw in a few extra small strokes to bring them both down. Panting a little, his breath warm against Toki’s neck.  
Dropping heavily to the mattress, he offered his discarded shirt for cleanup purposes. Toki used it and tossed it aside, laying against Nathan, resting.  
Slowly, their breathing returned to normal.

Finally recovered enough to think again, Toki had a question. “Nathan? I’s not being nosy, I has a really good reason for askings you this. Did you fucks Skwisgaar the night we all goes out?”  
“Toki, I told you-“  
“I’s serious. I shouldn’t even says this, but he tells me somebody does that. He can’ts remember who, and that’s why he’s actings so funnies.”  
“Oh shit. He uh, really doesn’t know?” That... explained quite a lot actually.  
“Noes. So was it yous?”  
“Yeah. But I didn’t _rape_ him or anything, he was all over me. He’s pretty fucking hot when he gets like that.”  
“We gots to tell him.”  
“Hmm. Yeah, I guess we’d better, if he really doesn’t know...” That was hard to believe.  
“Tomorrows?”  
“Yeah, okay. Tomorrow.”

“Toki? You can stay here if you want to. I don’t, you know, kick people out of bed.” Nathan usually wouldn’t stay in someone else’s bed, but if they were in his...  
“Okays, I stays. Wasn’t plannings on moving anyways.” He was too drunk, and now way too relaxed. Getting up, getting dressed, and making it back to his room just sounded like far too much trouble. And he was already about half asleep anyway...  
Nathan chuckled at that. “So... we talk to Skwisgaar tomorrow?”  
“Um-hmm.” Toki curled up against his side like a cat, enjoying the solid warmth.  
Soon he was asleep, and Nathan followed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a little talk with Skwisgaar, who later decides the best approach is to face his fears head-on.

It was again late at night, Skwisgaar was sitting in his room.   
He’d made an attempt to be more social today, finally. He really was trying his best to get past his whole (unremembered) ordeal, but it wasn’t easy. He’d even briefly joined the rest of them in the hot tub.  
Not that they knew about his problems of course, nobody but Toki knew. And _if_ they noticed anything, they couldn’t care anyway, because caring wasn’t metal. He had never been so glad for the no caring rule, it offered him at least a little protection.  
Finally though, he’d had all the socialization he could force on himself for the moment, and retreated to his room again.  
Unfortunately, he just wasn’t tired yet.

****

Most everybody had gone off to their rooms, Nathan and Toki were talking.  
Now that the agreed upon time had come, Nathan was unsure. “He seems... better? Maybe we should just leave it alone?”  
“He’s fakings it.”  
It had looked pretty convincing to him. “Are you sure?”  
Toki nodded. “Ja, I knows him. We goes?”  
“Yeah. You know, if you really think we need to. You do the talking?” Thinking they all might need more to drink, Nathan grabbed a couple bottles.  
Together they made their way to Skwisgaar’s room.  
Being nice and knocking, they waited until they were given a very wary invitation to enter.

Skwisgaar was very surprised to see the two of them, he’d been assuming it was probably just Toki again. Why was Nathan here? Had Toki told him? He wouldn’t have done that, would he? Deciding to let them lead, he kept silent and waited.  
They sat down on either side of him, Toki putting an arm around his shoulders. They were making him nervous. Nathan offered a bottle, and he gratefully took it and drank.  
Toki was looking at him, his expression serious. “Skwisgaar, there’s somethings you needs to know. Now don’ts freak out!”  
That wasn’t very reassuring at all. Still he remained silent.  
Toki hadn’t been able to come up with any way to put it but directly, so just said it. “That wasn’ts a groupies that night.”

He knew now it hadn’t been Toki, so that must mean...   
Turning, he looked at Nathan in shock. Really?  
Nathan gave a small nod, confirming his fears.  
What was going on? Why were they here? What did they have planned for him? Feeling suddenly cornered and overwhelmed, Skwisgaar attacked, turning on Nathan.  
He felt Toki grab him from behind, as Nathan simply overpowered him. Trying not to completely panic, he barely heard Toki’s reassurances. “Calms down, we gots you... We’s not going to hurts you...”  
But somehow, the words got through. Slowly calming, he leaned back into the comfort he was being offered.  
Toki pulled him down, still holding him protectively, trying very hard to make him feel safe. “Nobody’s going to hurts you, just listens.”

Sitting beside them, Nathan began. “Skwisgaar... I had no idea you didn’t remember. And I, uh, didn’t know you’d never done that. See, this guy at the bar was hitting on you. You were really drunk and I didn’t want you to do anything stupid or leave with him, so I brought you home. You came onto me, so... I’m sorry? I didn’t, you know, _rape_ you. I didn’t do anything you didn’t want me to. At the time.”  
“You tells Toki?”  
“Toki figured it out. He only told me because he was already pretty sure.”  
Skwisgaar nodded. That made sense, except- “How dids dis even comes up?”  
Toki looked at Nathan, who shrugged. It was his to tell or not. “Well... we was in beds.”

Now Skwisgaar looked concerned, touching Toki’s face gently. “Nathans takes de advantages of you?”  
“Noes! We’s was just messings around, and I wanteds to tries it! Nothings wrong with that.”  
“Buts... Did yous both turn de gays or sometimg? I knows you normallies fucks de ladies, both of yous.”  
Nathan tried to clarify the situation. “I still fuck chicks. I just fuck a dude every now and then too.”  
“I likes the goils, doesn’t mean I can’ts also likes something differents.”  
So if Nathan _wasn’t_ a rapist, and maybe all of this wasn’t even a big deal... He turned back to Nathan. “Did I likes it, what you dids to me?”  
“You sure as fuck seemed to, yeah.”

“I tinks I ams needing some alone times now.”  
That was reasonable, they’d given him a lot to think about. Toki let him go, stroking his hair briefly before getting up. “Okays. Comes on Nathan, we leaves him alone.”  
“Uh, okay.”   
They went to the door, where Toki turned back. “If you wants to talks, you knows where to finds us.”  
Skwisgaar nodded, and was left alone. They acted like it was no big deal. As much as he’d love to rag on Toki for taking it, he couldn’t. Not when he’d done the same thing, and done it first.  
It hadn’t really been so bad, had it?  
He couldn’t remember.

****

After a few days of thinking, Skwisgaar had decided that not remembering was the hardest part. The only solution seemed to be... well maybe not _doing_ it again, but at least looking into it. And he wanted Toki there, Toki made him feel safe. That in itself disturbed him, but he could only analyze one thing at a time.  
So that was how he came to be sitting on Toki’s bed with him, trying to think of how to even bring it up.  
Being no help at all, Toki waited patiently for him to say whatever he’d come to say.  
“Toki? Dids you kiss Nathans?”  
That surprised him. He hadn’t really thought about it at the time, but actually he hadn’t. Was that weird? “Noes.”  
“Whys not?”  
“I don’ts really knows... just didn’ts.”

“You lets him, you-know-what in yous, but you didn’ts kiss him?”  
Toki shrugged. “I don’ts know. He didn’ts try, I didn’ts try... it just didn’ts happens. Why’s you care anyways?”  
Having no idea, he simply forged on. “But you likes kissing de ladies.”  
“Nathan’s not a goil, Skwisgaar.” Wasn’t that reason enough? “Why’s you really heres? I knows you don’t care that much abouts what I’s done.”  
“So you never kisses a mans?”  
Toki sighed, he thought he’d already made that pretty clear. “Noes, I never kisses a mans. So fuckings what?”  
Skwisgaar leaned over and kissed him.

Surprised, but Toki kissed him back. It was an oddly experimentative kiss, almost hesitant. Not something he would have thought Skwisgaar was even capable of.  
Then it was over, and some of the awkwardness returned.  
Surely Skwisgaar didn’t come here just to kiss him. “Tells me why you’s really here.”   
Taking a deep breath Skwisgaar dove in. “I needs to... _talks_ to Nathans. And I wants you to be comings wit me?”  
“Okays. You wants to goes now?”  
That was easy, too easy. But stalling wouldn’t help him, so he nodded.  
Toki hopped up, waiting. A little reluctantly, Skwisgaar stood and followed.

Nathan was conveniently in his room, and didn’t look all that surprised to see them. He’d been reading, but he set his book aside and took off his reading glasses. Noting their expressions, he had one important question: “Is this going to be one of those conversations that we really need alcohol for?”  
Toki nodded. “Ja, probablies.”  
Reaching under the bed, Nathan produced a full bottle, handing it to Toki.   
Toki drank, and passed it to Skwisgaar.  
Alcohol was what had caused all his trouble in the first place, but this really wasn’t something he wanted to deal with sober. He drank.  
When the bottle came back to him, Nathan drank some as well, then set it in easy reach.

Leaning against Toki, his newfound security, Skwisgaar stated his mission. “I needs to remember, so I knows if it ams okays.”  
“Okay? Uh, explain that?”  
Toki squeezed him encouragingly, and he tried to go on. “Whats we done... You tells me I was likings it, but I can’ts _remember_. How ams I knowings how I feels about somting if I can’ts remember?”  
Nathan nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. So, what do you want? Do you wanna like, mess around and see if you like it? Or what?”  
Helping him self to another drink, Skwisgaar tried to think. Only one thing would truly answer his questions, but he didn’t know if he could actually go through with it. “I wants to maybe... be tryings it again? But I _don’ts_ wants to!”

Considering the whole situation here, Nathan had an idea. “Well, you seem more comfortable with Toki, how about if he does it?”   
That was something he hadn’t considered, letting Toki fuck him? Surprisingly, he found that the idea wasn’t all that scary, or even objectionable. “Toki? Has you ever fucks a guys?”  
“Noes, but I’s cool with tryings. I’s done that with a goil before. You sure you’s okays with this, Skwisgaar?”  
Well, not completely okay, no, but he was trying. He managed a tentative nod.  
Passing the bottle again, Nathan suggested they all get naked. Because terms like “get more comfortable” were for pussies.  
And so they did. If that was where things were headed, they might as well get to the point. This conversation and the anticipation had them all mostly hard already.

Nathan propped himself against the headboard. “Skwisgaar, come here, lean against me. Don’t be afraid.”  
A little reluctantly, he did, reclining against Nathan’s body. Surprisingly, it wasn’t unpleasant. Nathan rubbed his shoulder lightly, helping him relax.  
Turning to Toki, Nathan motioned with his head. “Lube’s in the top drawer. You know how this works.”  
Indeed he did. Grabbing it, he crawled over to them. “Don’ts worry Skwisgaar, I’s going to take real good care of yous. You should probabliles drink some mores though, makes it easiers.”  
That was good advice, he grabbed the bottle and did just that. They all took another turn.  
Pouring a little lube in his hand, Toki smiled reassuringly. “You gots to try to relax for me nows.”

Leaning against Nathan, who had loosely wrapped his arms around him, Skwisgaar did his best to relax as Toki slid a finger into him. It didn’t feel _bad_ , just really strange.  
Then Toki brought his other hand up to stoke him, and that changed _everything_. Suddenly the fingers (he’d snuck in another) felt good.  
He tried to stay calm, to relax as instructed. This was just his band, he was safe, everything was okay. It was just sex, and sex was something he was usually _very_ okay with.  
What was Toki _doing_ to him?  
He could already tell he was going to enjoy this, probably quite a lot. He wasn’t all that sure how he felt about that, but fuck it, he’d analyze it later.

Deciding Skwisgaar was ready enough, Toki withdrew his fingers and prepared himself.   
Skwisgaar was so fucking beautiful in his arousal, sprawled on Nathan, panting softly.  
“Nathan, you tells me if we’s squashings you.” They might get heavy.  
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Just take good care of him.” Skwisgaar was the important thing here, he’d worry about himself later.  
Moving into position, he saw Skwisgaar tense up a little. “You gots to relax. It’s going to be okays, trusts me.”  
Skwisgaar tried his best. Nathan helpfully offered the bottle again, and he drank. Alcohol helped, it helped a whole lot.  
Toki kindly waited until he was finished before proceeding.

Closing his eyes and leaning hard against Nathan, Skwisgaar waited. He successfully resisted the urge to flinch away when he felt Toki begin to enter him.  
Nathan reached down and lent a hand, stroking him to make things easier. The distraction worked, allowing Toki to get all the way in without too much trouble. They held him there between them.  
“Skwisgaar? You’s doing okays?”  
“Ja.” It didn’t exactly feel good, but it wasn’t hurting either. Wasn’t it supposed to hurt? Not that he wanted it to, but...  
Then Toki began to move experimentally. Not smoothly, but like he was searching for something...  
And then he found it. Skwisgaar arched up against him, clutching at him. Whatever the fuck he was doing, it felt _really_ damn good.

His movements awkward and uncoordinated, Skwisgaar was trying to thrust into Nathan’s hand while not moving enough to throw off Toki’s aim. The combined sensations were overwhelming him, destroying all his thoughts.  
This wasn’t the usual Skwisgaar, haughty and in control. Soon he gave up and gave in, surrendering and letting them guide him, letting them teach him things about his body he’d never realized before.  
He wrapped his arms tighter around Toki, trying to pull him down closer.  
Toki complied, leaning lightly against him, trying to leave Nathan enough room to work between their bodies.

Shifting his grip, Skwisgaar hooked an arm around Toki’s neck, pulling him into a kiss.  
Toki kissed back, the lack of facial hair an the soft lips making it almost like kissing a girl. Well, except that no girl he’d ever kissed had worked her tongue like _that_.  
Still supporting them, Nathan watched his guitarists. This was actually really fucking hot.  
Toki was having trouble concentrating on two things at once, so he broke the kiss, pressing a few small ones to Skwisgaar’s neck and chest to keep him happy.  
Skwisgaar made a disappointed little sound but accepted this, still clutching at Toki.  
He could feel Nathan hard against his back, but that wasn’t scaring him, not anymore.  
They would take care good of him.

They worked together, Nathan following the pace that Toki was setting, Skwisgaar sandwiched between them.  
Skwisgaar was lost. There was a connection here he’d never felt before. Maybe because they were his band? He didn’t know... he wasn’t really capable of thinking anymore.  
All that mattered, all there was in his world at the moment...  
Just the three of them together, and the sensations roaring through him.  
Leaning into Nathan, clutching at Toki, he let them take him higher. Seeming all at once, his climax was upon him, his reactions triggering Toki to thrust harder, intensifying everything.  
Afterwards they came down slowly, Toki now also lounging against Nathan, who didn’t mind at all.  
Nathan had his arms around the both of them, holding them.

This whole thing had really turned Nathan on, of course. Now that Skwisgaar had been taken care of and they’d had a little rest, he wanted something too. “Toki? Think you can you handle it? This soon?  
Toki nodded, rolling onto his back. “Ja, just takes it slow.”  
Skwisgaar curled on his side, watching in fascination as Nathan prepped Toki, who seemed to enjoy it.  
Then they began.   
Interesting... Even though Nathan was on top, it seemed to be Toki who was in charge, guiding the experience. It worked that way?  
He watched Toki reach down, touching himself. Should he lend a hand? Skwisgaar was surprised to realize that he wanted to. Hesitantly, he reached out. Touching another man’s cock really didn’t feel that different from touching his own.

Toki turned his head, meeting Skwisgaar’s eyes.   
Startled, Skwisgaar squeezed, causing Toki to groan in approval. Encouraged by the reactions he was getting, he began working with more deliberate motions.  
He’d never thought he’d find another man appealing in this way, much less _two_ men, but they were, they were beautiful.  
Moving closer, he kissed Toki, he’d discovered that he really enjoyed kissing him.   
Nathan grinned down at them, then dropped his head against the other side of Toki’s neck, so close that Skwisgaar could feel his warm breath.

Refusing to break the kiss but working with Nathan, he sought to undo Toki they way they had undone him.  
It didn’t take long. Despite the fact that he’d already came not long ago, Toki was very into it and more than ready.  
Skwisgaar kept the pace they set, and felt a strange sense of satisfaction as Toki came in his hand, making a soft noise into his mouth.  
Also finished, Nathan moved to lay down on Toki’s other side. Two guys at once was a new experience for him, but he had to admit it had been a lot of fun.  
Maybe they could all do this again sometime?  
Thoroughly worn out, Toki lay limp between them.

Skwisgaar rested against Toki, who was pressed against Nathan. “I guess we better be gettings up now?  
Toki threw an arm over him. “Gets up if you wants, I’s staying right heres.”  
They could _stay_? Who let people stay after sex? That just wasn’t normal. “Nathans? We really can stays?”  
“Well, that’s why I have such a big bed. Sleep overs.”  
“Sleeps overs?” That was a new concept.  
“Sleep overs.”  
“Oh. I tink I wants to stays.”  
Toki squeezed him gently. “So shuts up and goes to sleep.”  
Smiling softly in the dark, Skwisgaar obeyed.


End file.
